We can't control what life throws at us, but we can choose how we deal with the hand we're dealt
I’ve talked here and on my personal blog about how 2025 has been for me. Like Jeremy Daly, the author of this post, it’s only this week that I’ve managed to run my first complete 5k since January.
My situation has been easier than what he’s had to deal with. A different health condition, but also life events (death, accidents, company stress) that sound pretty horrendous.
Daly’s conclusion is largely the same as mine, though. He cites the Serenity Prayer, whereas I’d go further back and cite Epictetus: “Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions.”
When my doctor eventually told me I was in AFib, I just stared at her. I’d spent years optimizing systems, debugging infrastructure, fixing the things that broke. Now it was me that was broken. I had to trust that the doctors were as good at their job as I was at mine.
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She referred me to a cardiologist and scheduled some additional tests. Then came the doctor’s orders. No running. No alcohol. Minimize stress. Make sure I keep my heart rate under 110 bpm to avoid rapid ventricular response (RVR).
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She suggested talking to a mental health professional, something I had been guilty of stigmatizing my entire life. But I realized I wasn’t just dealing with a heart condition; I was dealing with years of mounting stress and burnout I had refused to acknowledge. It was the first time I finally admitted I couldn’t just willpower my way through it. I needed help managing the stress and regaining focus, and for the first time in my life, I stopped seeing that as weakness.
Getting that support, and the right medications to help quiet and focus my mind, was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Healing isn’t just about fixing your heart; it’s about taking care of your head and everything connected to it.
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Once I got home [from the AWS ‘Heroes’ Summit], I felt as though something had changed. I was suddenly incredibly motivated. I had a much clearer sense of where I wanted to spend my time. Time with family, time with friends, and time for the community that had brought me so much joy in the past.
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This year tore me down. It also rebuilt me.
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After years of optimizing for performance, I’ve started optimizing for balance. We can’t control what life throws at us, but we can choose how we deal with the hand we’re dealt. I’m not religious, but there is something beautiful about the Serenity Prayer. That wisdom to know what can and cannot be changed often comes from lived experience. These last few years have taught me some hard lessons. My hope is that they’ve prepared me for whatever comes next.
Source: Jeremy Daly
Image: Julio Klinger