A man sitting at a table talking to a woman

Years ago, I read The Art of Travel by Alain de Botton. It was so long ago that it was the first time I’d been introduced to Seneca’s observation that you can travel, but you can’t escape yourself.

This article by Phillipa Perry — whose books How to Stay Sane and The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will be Glad That You Did) I’d highly recommend — points out that many of our problems stem from (how we conceptualise) our relationships with others.

Often, we believe the solution to our problems lies outside ourselves, believing that if we leave the job, the relationship, everything will be fine. Of course, that can sometimes be true and it’s important to be alert to situations which are truly damaging. But the path towards feeling more connected to others usually starts from within. We must examine how we talk to ourselves, uncover the covert beliefs we live by, and confront the darker aspects of our psyche. One of the most disconnecting forces is our expectations of how others should be – but learning to accept people and things we cannot change can help us become more sanguine.

Source: The Guardian